6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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