At least make sure they are 18
Why
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
