He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
