you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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