It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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