I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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