When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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