careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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