Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
