is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
