OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
