No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
