I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
