Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
