Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
