Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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