How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
