if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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