I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it's like iHOP with fire
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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