nut hugger
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
