i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
