So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
