I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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