I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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