i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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