My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
