Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize