I am puke
from now on my penis is your penis
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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