So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
