Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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