So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
