I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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