Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
