Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
