mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My ass is underappreciated
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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