when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize