This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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