She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
