Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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