well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
