so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
