I need help removing her.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
