she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
