508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
