haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
