this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
