is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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