Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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