pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
