the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
