tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
