she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
