bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
