I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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