I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
