I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
