He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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