Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
